Did Zelensky Need an Anger Translator?

“A part of me was ashamed to have this reaction — Zelensky should have kept his mouth shut.”

Painful as it was to watch Friday’s unprecedented shouting match in the Oval Office, it was even more unsettling to read - in the analysis that followed - so little from a Ukrainian point of view. I mean yes, the diplomatic meltdown between Donald Trump, JD Vance, and Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky has consequences for Americans, but arguably way more so for Ukrainians, and their opinions might matter more to Zelensky’s actual political future in the weeks to come.

My wife Sana Krasikov is a Ukraine-born writer whose New Yorker fiction story about Ukrainians’ mixed feelings about the war was chosen for Best of American Short Stories 2023. She watched the Oval Office shout-down through barely parted fingers, and we spent the weekend talking about it and fielding many calls from Ukrainian friends and family. At my urging, she wrote this personal essay for me to share exclusively with all of you. Please enjoy and share widely. [Speaking of sharing, I have some rather amazing news to relate at the end of this post about Lydia, the Kenyan farmer who was left by USAID with a bounced check, until some of you came to the rescue.]

How Zelensky Lost the Room

by Sana Krasikov

I watched the Zelensky-Trump-Vance kitchen brawl the morning after the rest of my family did — at which point the phone at my parents’ house had been off the hook for twelve hours of very noisy emotional processing among extended family members (all immigrants from Ukraine) as well as friends still in Ukraine.

I couldn’t, in fact, bring myself to watch it until my very sweet literary agent texted to say how horrified she was by what she’d seen — “the way Zelensky was treated.” At which point I did watch it (pausing for breath every thirty seconds), and having very much the impression I was afraid I was going to have: Zelensky done messed up bigly.

A part of me was ashamed to have had such a reaction — I was born in Ukraine, have been wholeheartedly on Ukraine’s side from the beginning, and consider Zelensky a remarkable leader. So I wished that my feelings were more closely aligned with that of my thoughtful American agent, who, along with the entire New York Times comments section (my “water cooler”) was aghast at Trump and Vance’s bullying and ashamed of America’s apparent siding with Putin. But here’s the thing: I was not the only one to have the reaction that Zelenksy should have kept his mouth shut — my entire family was deeply irritated by the Ukrainian leader’s behavior. And when I got calls from other Ukrainian friends I found that we were not alone in this sentiment.

So let me try to parse this out — because there was a lot happening during that catastrophic meeting (besides, of course, post-war political order snapping its femur). A lot happening interpersonally (one got the sense that this was not the first conversation of its kind the three men were having— just the first one we were witnessing) as well as inter-culturally.

The cultural dynamics at play were ones my immigrant eyes and ears had witnessed before. A dynamic any Easter European immigrant might recognize and feel horrified by because, honey, we’ve all been there. I would call this the “self-defense as lecture” trap, or maybe the “no one needs your authenticity” doctrine.

Life is short, so let me get to the point. Soviets (or post-Soviets, or whatever you want to call the unique cultural fingerprint of people raised in Russia and the former republics) love to fucking lecture at you. That’s actually how we have conversations — you talk at me, and then I talk at you. This is normal behavior, and those of us who came to the States as young people and learned the hard way that most educated Americans don’t interrupt and prefer to say things like “I hear what you’re saying,” or “I really appreciate your passion about this issue” before going on to politely disagree with you, don’t tend to like it when we propose our humble opinions as “this is the Truth, and now I dare you to disagree with me.” They don’t get that we actually look forward to the disagreement. That we suffer from a kind of cultural autism that makes us incapable of hearing an open-ended question as an actual suggestion, or even a strong recommendation. You people are just too subtle!

But — many of us have learned to leave our alien Soviet attitudes at home before we walk out the door in the morning. Now, there are lots of benefits to being raised in a culture that has a stomach for productive conflict, and plenty of costs as well — but I can get into all that with my therapist later.

All I know for sure is that this attitude does not play well with Americans.

But what does Zelensky do when JD Vance baits him? He says what every Soviet uncle says to you during a heated dinner discussion (“What kind of [fill-in-the-blank] are you talking about?…Now let me tell you the history of this whole issue from the beginning.”)

He just couldn’t help himself. Self-defense as lecture.

And yes, the point Zelensky made was valid: Russia can’t be trusted to keep its cease fire agreements.

But that wasn’t my first thought when I heard him speak up for himself. My first thought was: He just pulled a Soviet Uncle. This is not going to play well.

Now you might be saying to yourself: But Donald Trump and JD Vance are not polite diplomatic Americans! To which I say: exactly! Donald Trump speaks whatever pops into his head (a trait that, by the way, Soviet immigrants love about him), and JD has written in Hillbilly Elegy that in Appalachian culture people do not say they are sorry — they convey their feelings through actions instead. All of which, paradoxically, make our president and VP more legible to many immigrants to than are the American educated classes with their pseudo-empathic corporate talk.

But herein lies the problem— for things to stay on track, at least one side needs to be performing that smooth-over duty. Somebody needed to be in the room to get the conversation out of the Honor-and-Shame Death Spiral it was turning into.

The question I still can’t answer fully is: how did Zelensky not see the trap? Why didn’t he pivot? The guy is one of the most successful entertainers in Ukraine. (When Trump called him a mediocre comic on top of being a dictator…that really stung. In Ukraine, Zelensky is at the level of a Chapelle or a John Stewart). My sister, who’s been a fan of Zelensky ever since he was doing sketch comedy, called me after the White House talk in horror — she was equally stunned by the Soviet “uncle-knows-best” bit and the Che Guevara outfit. For some context: Ukrainians know how to dress. Kiev is a fashion capital and they can wear French suits better than the French. When asked about this, Zelensky made a point to say that he would retire his “costume” and put on a suit once the war is over. Fair point, but some Americans watching might argue — yeah, but right now, in this room, you’re a beggar, not a fighter — so maybe put on a suit?

I think all this gets to a core dilemma, which is that Zelensky is still performing for a Ukrainian audience rather than an American one.

Not to culturally stereotype (though really who’s counting at this point), Ukrainians are a proud people. They’re skilled, competent do-ers and will tell you everything you’re doing wrong even when you’re the one paying them (ask anyone who’s ever hired a Ukrainian nanny). These were the people Zelensky was addressing. He knew the Ukrainians would ream him if he didn’t stand up to JD — and risking the consequences of confrontation might have seemed preferable to the humiliation of looking like a doormat. (But this is why negotiations happen behind closed doors, no?) Zelensky was still talking like we’re living in the post-war international order where we are aligning with our friends and allies along a value system called “democracy.” But Trump has made it repeated clear that he is not playing by those rules and that the practical, power-driven realities of geopolitics are now the only realities at play.

In fairness to Zelensky, he did pivot a day later (kind of). I found the interview Bret Beir did on Fox to be surprising respectful, giving him a chance to clarify himself. What’s alarming to me now is how the whole conversation about decorum and manners has taken on a life of its own, specifically the way Lindsey Graham and others have been piling on Zelensky with the whole “he needs to apologize to Mr. Trump” business.

As a former Soviet, I can’t end this post without my own personal conspiracy theory about this. The more I think about that meeting, the more JD’s interjection really does seem like a set up. I mean, for all of Trump’s meandering, I thought the president was sounding somewhat coherent about where Ukraine stands at the moment— at least before Vance (whose views on Ukraine are more severe than Trump’s) got the president going on the whole Hunter Biden bathroom-laptop. My gut feeling is this — somehow Putin’s people have hinted to our leaders that they prefer to do business with someone other than Zelensky. Hence all the talk suddenly of Z stepping down. I hope I’m wrong. But when I hear tendrils of Russian propaganda coming out of the mouths of American congresspeople, my flags go up. I don’t think Ukraine will be better off if Zelensky is pushed out — and I hope our politicians don’t fall for this phony negotiation tactic. I also hope Zelensky won’t give into the pressure — almost much as I’m hoping he gets himself a cultural anger translator soon.

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Update from Mount Kenya

Readers of my previous post might remember Lydia, the farmer at the foothills of Mt Kenya who invested in a solar dryer for her medicinal herb farm with the help of USAID - only to be stuck with a bill she couldn’t pay when Trump’s executive order froze the funds. When I interviewed Lydia she was upbeat but terrified, worried that the supplier of the solar dryer (which she couldn’t uninstall or return) was going to drag her to the court for the money and she would lose her farm. When some of you asked if you could help Lydia, she set up a fundraiser. Now, with the support of a few extremely generous subscribers, she has nearly paid for the solar dryer — and is raising some more to rehire the women she had to fire in the wake of the freeze. If you want to help Lydia or monitor her progress, here’s how.

And a huge thank you to those who have become paid members of this Substack, helping me keep this work going for you.